At what point in a child's life does the child get to finally grow up and become an adult in the eyes of their parents? Is it when they graduate high school? Is when they move away to college? Is it when they finish college and get a real job? Or is it when they married and start a family of their own? At what point do children have to say, "I'm an adult who can make my own decisions, so let me, please."
I don't think that in the eye of parents, their children ever truly grow up and I think that all parents still see their kids as the children they once were, the small babies of the past, but I do think that there comes a certain point where parents have to learn to let go and accept that their child is grown up, making grown up decisions about themselves and the lives the choose to live. No one is saying that you, as a parent, have to forget that tiny baby you once held in your arms, but you do have to learn to let your children live their own lives. It's not easy but it's necessary for everyone to grow up, parents and child alike.
I think the hardest thing for parents to know about their children is that they are having sex, especially if the child in question is their daughter. It's not easy for parents to accept that their daughter (or son) can make such life altering decisions like choosing to have sex and who to have sex with.
I'm finding that a reoccurring theme amongst my female friends is that their parents aren't happy to know that they are having sex, while simultaneous, their brothers, main of which are younger then my friends, are not getting any flack at all. It's this double standard that parents seem to put on their children. If a son is having sex as early as the age of 16 with no hell being raised by their parents, either because they don't know or because they only hope that their son is being safe, then why is it not acceptable for their daughter to be having sex in her 20s? I find sons tend to have sex sooner then daughters but the second the parents find out that their daughter is having sex at the tender age of 20, 21, 22, 23, it's taboo and the parents think that they are too young and naive and is too easy.
From where I stand it's the person's prerogative when and with whom they have sex, regardless of age or gender. Girls shouldn't have to wait until 4 or 5 or 6 months into knowing someone to have sex if they don't want to wait. It doesn't make them easy, it makes them an adult, making an adult decision about their own life, especially if that woman is in her 20s. I don't think that having sex necessarily makes someone an adult, but I think it's at this point that parents should start taking notice that their child isn't necessarily a child anymore, especially their daughters.
For all those parents out their...times are changing. It's perfectly acceptable for 20 something daughters to be having sex within the first few weeks of dating, even if you are still getting to know each other. Just as it is acceptable to sons to be having sex at 16 and not getting any flack for it cause they are boys and that is what they do. Don't judge you children differently with different standards. it's not going to be a pretty outcome. The best you can do is educate them on what is right and wrong and to love who they are and what safe sex is and hope that one day they make the right decisions for them, and not for you. it;s their life, their body, their prerogative. Deal with it.
