A slight unedited rant about growing up and becoming an adult making adult decisions, especially about sex

At what point in a child's life does the child get to finally grow up and become an adult in the eyes of their parents? Is it when they graduate high school? Is when they move away to college? Is it when they finish college and get a real job? Or is it when they married and start a family of their own? At what point do children have to say, "I'm an adult who can make my own decisions, so let me, please."

I don't think that in the eye of parents, their children ever truly grow up and I think that all parents still see their kids as the children they once were, the small babies of the past, but I do think that there comes a certain point where parents have to learn to let go and accept that their child is grown up, making grown up decisions about themselves and the lives the choose to live. No one is saying that you, as a parent, have to forget that tiny baby you once held in your arms, but you do have to learn to let your children live their own lives. It's not easy but it's necessary for everyone to grow up, parents and child alike.

I think the hardest thing for parents to know about their children is that they are having sex, especially if the child in question is their daughter. It's not easy for parents to accept that their daughter (or son) can make such life altering decisions like choosing to have sex and who to have sex with.

I'm finding that a reoccurring theme amongst my female friends is that their parents aren't happy to know that they are having sex, while simultaneous, their brothers, main of which are younger then my friends, are not getting any flack at all. It's this double standard that parents seem to put on their children. If a son is having sex as early as the age of 16 with no hell being raised by their parents, either because they don't know or because they only hope that their son is being safe, then why is it not acceptable for their daughter to be having sex in her 20s? I find sons tend to have sex sooner then daughters but the second the parents find out that their daughter is having sex at the tender age of 20, 21, 22, 23, it's taboo and the parents think that they are too young and naive and is too easy.

From where I stand it's the person's prerogative when and with whom they have sex, regardless of age or gender. Girls shouldn't have to wait until 4 or 5 or 6 months into knowing someone to have sex if they don't want to wait. It doesn't make them easy, it makes them an adult, making an adult decision about their own life, especially if that woman is in her 20s. I don't think that having sex necessarily makes someone an adult, but I think it's at this point that parents should start taking notice that their child isn't necessarily a child anymore, especially their daughters.

For all those parents out their...times are changing. It's perfectly acceptable for 20 something daughters to be having sex within the first few weeks of dating, even if you are still getting to know each other. Just as it is acceptable to sons to be having sex at 16 and not getting any flack for it cause they are boys and that is what they do. Don't judge you children differently with different standards. it's not going to be a pretty outcome. The best you can do is educate them on what is right and wrong and to love who they are and what safe sex is and hope that one day they make the right decisions for them, and not for you. it;s their life, their body, their prerogative. Deal with it.

Love, Heartache and Self- Realization

It seems like August is a month of closer and new beginnings. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of people who go through a breakup in August. It's not a surprise considering August is also the the end of the summer (meaning end of summer flings) and the beginning of a new school year (possibly people moving away for college) and in my case also the start of a new me.

I'm not saying that just because summer has ended or that you or your significant other are moving away things have to end. Actually, I think the exact opposite. I think that if you are with the right person then you can make anything last with a little bit of effort and a lot of understanding and patience but if it's not meant to work out then there really is no point in trying. Part ways on good terms and hopefully someday in the future you can be friends. It take times to get there but it is possible. I think with every relationship you learn something new that you can bring to your next one or something new about yourself that will last a lifetime if you are lucky. I don't necessarily think a breakup is the end. It could be a new beginning, like it was for me.

I've figured out that as much as I always want to have someone else in in my life to depend on and be there for me 100% and vice versa, it's not what defines me. I don't need a boyfriend to come into and find myself. Since my late July/early August breakup, I've been learning to accept what has happened and move forward. I'm finding out things about friends and our relationship that I didn't know before. I think my friendships are stronger now than ever, especially my newest friendship with classmates. The end of August brought on a new and final school year for me and with that a reunion with my classmates whom I have missed over the summer. It's nice to see everyone again and reconnect. It truly is a new beginning for me and I'm looking forward to what my future holds when this school year is over.

As for moving forward, a friend of mine recently broke up with her longterm boyfriend of 4 years, much harder than my relationship of 7 months no doubt, but still, we can relate. I gave her this advice in the form of an analogy to help her find a good place and to still be able to believe in love again like I have:

"Right now you are at a crossroads. You are currently headed on the straight and narrow path that leads to the edge of the cliff and you're on the edge about to jump. You need to take a step back, realize what you are about to do, and find your way through he forest back up to the other winding path that eventually leads up to the top of the mountain. Once you find that road you can find the way to the top and the point of which you feel a sense of accomplishment and joy...but you can only do this if you take that initial step back and stop yourself from nosediving off the edge. The top pf the mountain will be there waiting for you when you are ready to reach it and claim it with your flag"

Not bad words of advice if i do say so myself:P

Jobs, Boys, Life in Transition

As it runs out, I'm not as bad at interviews as I had once suspected. It's been a month since I started working at Sassy Beads. So far I've had my up and downs. I find it's a fairly easy job with not a tone of stuff to do which is good for me, at least while I'm still in school anyways. I just wish that the management had more time to train me. I came in in the middle of bridal season so I haven't had a lot of one on one training like many of the other girls have had in the past. It also doesn't help that my manager is away at the moment for familial reasons and I don't exactly know when she'll be back. I just hate feeling useless...I'm going to stick it out for a while and hopefully during the school year it turns out to be exactly the kind of job I need to earn some extra cash and not drive me totally crazy given the fact that this year is going to be insane for me.

On another note, my boyfriend recently broke up with me and to be honest given that this is my last year in school and I don't know where I'll be afterward I don't think it's the worst thing that could happen right now. I mean I'm obviously hurt a lot but I'll eventually be ok. I have my good days and my bad days and I know eventually I'll be ok:) I mean if someone comes along this year then great.. but I'm not going to go out looking right now just cause I don't know what is going to happen when I'm done school. All I know is I'm looking forward to the new school year and bigger and better things to come.

Speaking of new and better things to come I feel like this year is going to be a year of transitions for me. At least I hope so. I don't think I want to be in Ottawa for the rest of my life. I want to work for a magazine and there really isn't very much that Ottawa has to offer in that regard so I'm hoping to end up somewhere like Toronto, Vancouver, Montreal or somewhere in the States like Cleveland (where Alternative Press is located) or Boston, New York or LA. I really hope things go well and I can get a placement at a magazine and I get to eventually do what I love and get paid for it..write! We'll see what this year brings for me despite the breakup and the semi-minor issues at work..I have a (hopefully!) good feeling about this year.

Jobs..revisted

It's been just over a week and I still haven't heard back from the manager at my latest attempt at finding a job, despite having called and left a message earlier today. She said that she would get back to me by Friday of last week and today is Tuesday..my hopes are not very high at the moment.

I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I know that we are still in a recession and that it's hard for everyone to find a job. I'm by far not implying that I am the only one having difficulties, however, despite my many years of experience, my personable attributes and my willing to learn, if I am lucky enough to get an interview anywhere then why is it that it never goes past that point? What am I doing wrong in the interview stage that prevents me from moving forward?

I'm lucky enough that I am still in school and that I live at home while in school because otherwise I'd be screwed right now. I'm not trying to be picky in applying for jobs but I definitely cannot see myself at a place like McDonald's right now. Not that there is anything wrong with that but it's just not for me. I don't want to go back to Reitmans but I can't keep living like this where I have no income to speak of. I know I need to budget better, and it's a lot easier to do during the school year, but it's hard to say no to the things I want to do during the summer. I don't want to have to say no to doing things with my friends because I don't get to see them often, especially since they all have jobs and I don't. But I might have to start doing that if I intend to save some money this year so that by the end of the school year next year I can have the option to move to another city for work because there are not a lot of opportunities for me in Ottawa, at least not for what I want to do. Either way I have to seriously rethink my summer plans if I'm not going to be working. I just wish that someone would give me a chance and offer me a job. Is that really too much to ask?

Jobs..where are they all hiding?

So I've been done school for a while now, at least for the summer, and I've been looking for a part-time summer job that hopefully, school schedule permitting, I can continue with in the fall. I would love to find something in my field that would give me experience but honestly, I'm looking for almost any kind of job that pays because money is something that I could use, especially if I plan on saving some this time around. In my search I have come to one big conclusion: Finding a job is HARD!

If you are not outside walking around handing out resumes everyday, you are online looking up postings. When you are not online looking up postings and putting your resume out there via the internet, you are making phone calls. If you are not making phone calls you are out handing out resumes..Where in that cycle do you get the job interview? The dream job? The job that pays? The life that you want?...Finding a job is hard:(

It's not enough these days to have the talent, the drive, the ambition to succeed, you also need to have the will to learn, to adapt to new situations and above and beyond everything else you have to have support in the adventure you are about to embark upon because in the end, until you find that job that you have been trying so hard to find, you are going to need a place to live and food to eat. Luckily, I have a lot of support financially from my family and I'm not out living on my own trying to make it with no income. I'm thankful for that for sure, but because of the support they give they can be very...intrusive isn't really the right word, nor is annoying or over-bearding, but think of a word that kind of blends all three together and you know what I'm talking about.

I know that my family only wants the best for me and I want the best for myself as well. I WANT to find a job. I've been looking and calling and walking in and handing out resumes left, right, and center but nothing has come to fruition as of yet. I can only do so much and it seem that sometimes that is not enough for them.

To be totally honest I'm not entirely upset that I am not working right now because it gives me the freedom to do the things I want to do when I want to do them..except for the lack of money of course..which is where the job comes into play. I have worked every summer since I was 16, minus 1 year, and that summer I was in class doing school so no one said anything. I think the fact that this time around I am not taking classes over the summer people are making a bigger deal out of it then it has to be. It's not like I'm done school forever and just sitting on my ass everyday. I still have another year left in my program and when that is done I will hopefully find a job in my field right out of the gate and if not I will work any job to earn money until I do. It's not for my lack of drive or effort that I haven't found a job yet, despite what my mother may think. I would normally blame my brother but even he's trying to help me find a job so I don't think that would be fair:P

In the end I think I'll find a job, even if it takes me all summer to do it, and I'll be able to earn some money and try to start saving up some because I definitely HAVE to do that. But for right now I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and try as hard as I can until someone gives me a break. I hope I get a job that I like and work with people that I really get along with and that allows me to be creative and have fun. Until that day comes you'll find me running around making plans with friends and trying to have a life outside of my bedroom:)

SLR Girl out!

PS..thanks mom and grandma and papa for all the financial support that the luxury of still being able to live at home while in school and not have to pay for room and board. I love you all very much and even though you all get on my nerves I know you have the best of intentions and my best interests at heart. THANKS!

New Featured Band - Michael Bernard Fitzgerlad

So here is the thing...due to the fact that I am an Algonquin journalism Student, I can't post the story on here that I would like to post because my story is now owned by the Algonquin Times. That being said, I can still write a new piece with new information that wasn't used in my Times Story. Therefore there is no copyright infringement. So here I go...

Recently, I attended a show for an up and coming indie-folk-pop artist named Michael Bernard Fitzgerald, or MBF for short, here on campus at The Observatory (The OB). It was a fantastic show with great enthusiasm!

In his short career as a professional recording artist, Calgary's MBF has already been coined as "Canada's next best hope for a global star" and someone to watch in 2010 by Peter Simpson who writes a column for The Ottawa Citizen.

With music reminiscent of the soulful sounds of James Morrison and Dave Mathews and equally as unique, MBF's songs carry plenty of base and drumline-esq snare beats mixed with the melodic sounds of a piano on songs such as Reach You; string orchestras and xylaphonic instrumentation on tracks like Movie Life; and a few tracks with harmonious chorus vocals in the background, it's hard to believe MBF has only been playing professionally for 4.5 years!

His unique sounds seems to resonate well with his fans, new and old.

"I loved the show!" said show attendee Matthew Haddad. "His music emits love, happiness and friendship and that's all that you need."

"My favourite song that he played is Movie Life," said Rosie Waugh, who attended the show at The OB and was the lucky lady chosen to go up on stage during the ballad Care For You. "It was very neat the way he made songs that everyone knows have a completely different sound."

Not only did he bring someone up on stage during a soulful ballad, during one of his more energetic songs, Movie Life, he played the song with a loop pedal, overlapping his own voice several times before adding a new riff and continuing the loop for a good 2 minutes thereafter. While the loop continued to play in the background, MBF began singing various other songs such as My Humps by Fergie, Waterfalls by TLC, The Thong Song by Sisco, Tik Tok by Ke$ha, and a few other songs as well. It was amazing to watch him up on stage loving what he does and how much the audience laughed and got involved.

Later on, towards the end of the show, MBF played his latest single, Brand New Spaces where he got everyone in the audience standing up and thumping their feet while clapping a special beat, the same one that can be seen in his music video for the song. What great enthusiasm!

In recent months, from October to December, MBF had steady gig at a place called The Supermarket in Toronto's Kensignton Market, just west of the downtown core, and only taking 2 weeks off at Christmas.

"I like being busy," laughed MBF.

Touring so much usually puts a strain on one's ability to keep track of time and MBF is no exception to this rule. he recounted a story to me about this one time while back home in Calgary for no more than a single day. MBF forgot that BlackBerry phones don't automatically change time zones when you fly in and out of cities. This meant that he needed to keep track himself and of course, that meant humorous events were bound to occur.

"I had called for a cab that was supposed ti pick me up at 5 a.m." MBF told me as he recalled his adventure with time changes. "I set my alarm so that I could get up and ready for the cab the night before. I woke up and got ready and went downstairs to wait for my cab. I waited and waited and finally decided to call the cab company. They asked me when I ordered the cab for and I told the girl 5 a.m., she said 'Sir, it's only 3:10 in the morning' and suggested I go back up to my room and take a nap," recalled MBF with laugh.

Playing only in Canadian Venues thus far, MBF calls a 1,600 person venue in Calgary, called Jack Singer, one of his favourite places that he has played to date.

"It's always been a dream of mine to play there," said MBF. "I finally got to play there this summer for my CD release party for my first full length album The MBF LOVE LP."

With his first full length album out in music stores across the country, MBF is well on his way to bringing his energetic songs to all of Canada and the world beyond!

How to Survive Valentine's Day

Everyday should be a special day to spend with someone that you love. This is true for most people, yet we have this one day specifically designated to love called Valentine's Day. Listed Herein are some tips to help you make it through this season of love.

For most people, Valentine's day is a reason to acknowledge one's love for another special someone in their lives. For others, Valentine's Day is a representation of corporate influence over the populous to buy cards, candy and flowers for others. Perhaps it is a combination thereof. in either case, there are a few things to keep in mind on this special day.

For starters, part of the problem with Valentine's Day is that if you don't have someone special in your life, there is a certain stignma that comes with being alone. It's unfortunate, but true. In these circumstances it usually helps to have friends in the same situation, therefore you don't feel so alone.

If there is no on who you can share this day with in the same situation, the best alternative is to see if you can organize a group thing. Maybe not a whole day event if your friends have other people to spend time with also, but perhaps instead a special lunch, dinner, or even a shorter coffee date so that you don't spend the whole day alone sulking. These are usually good ways to not feed too lonely and isolated on Valentine's day.

On the other hand, some people fee a significant amount of pressure to make plans and make a big deal out of that day itself. They feel that because it is a day designated for love, they not only have to have a date, no matter who it is, but also to have elaborate plans. if you fall into this category, there is nothing wrong with that either. Just try to remember that everyday should be special and love should be shared all year round so don't concentrate all your loving for someone to this one day. Spread the wealth:)

If you do choose to make plans, try to take into account your partner's feelings. For example, if they are not normally someone who likes to go out for dinner, maybe plan to stay in a cook them a special romantic dinner at home, spending a bit more time lingering at the table over a bottle of wine than you normally would. Also, try to flexible in you making of plans. Things come up and could change the events of the evening. It isn't always good to be to dead-set on sticking to the plans that have been previously made. Sometimes the best Valentine's Days that occur are the ones that are the most spontaneous anyways!

If you are one of those people who really feel more comfortable making set plans and sticking to them, such as dinner reservations, it is important to remember that Valentine's Day is one of the busiest days of the year for restaurants so try to make a reservation well ahead of time otherwise you might be out of luck. this is really good advice for those of you who really want to go out and maybe get away from the kids or the roommates..plan ahead!

Aren't one for making big plans well ahead of time? Try being different than all the rest and maybe make plants to make dinner at home that doesn't require a lot of planning or stay in and rent some movies instead of going out like most people plan to do.

At the end of the day, the most important tip to adhere to is to listen to your heart and do what feels right for you and your partner. After all, it is Valnetine's Day and your heart is the most important part of it.